Hello everybody!

Helo. May be I'll be a bit heavy for starter, but allthough it's the first time I blog .. wanted to do it for some time now.. had no the confidence in me to try..I was browsing around looking at all these peoples' pages and then..time was passing..i was forgetting myself through others and was leaving the whole matter for some other time..today it just come on my face..maybe it was also a deeper need in me (a lot of me in the sentences and i don't like it but i decided not to go back again) and i totally agree that when you really want to do something, the whole universe conspires so that you achieve it, and i'm going on..
sometimes, some days , even breathing is difficult..to me, i don't know if a lot of people feel this way...
some days also, is like you wake up from your life itself..like you've been wondering around for countless time and suddenly you must look at yourself and you find a quite different person than the one you remember or imagine yourself to be..nevertheless you decide to look again and see what happens..unless..people around you dont want to let you go on with yourself..and the most near ones is family..family..Family. What the hek is the deal here? no matter what you're up to, good or bad, you allways find them in front of you , confronting you..it's impossible, even statistically, that i'm the only one with this problem..and to be more specific..mum..dear, old mum..it does not matter who you are, how old you are, what you 've achieved or not achieved, what your personal myth is, what your personal dream or goal is..your dear, sweet mum will allways have an opinion to bring you down..what the people will think, what your mistakes have been in the past or nt so past, where you failed, how many times you broke your neck..and above all.. you do not gained the money she things you deserved to, as all the other people did, the son of mrs.., the daughter of mrs..and most important they didnot have her to support them as you have..
Yes, all these things are laughable up to all points of view..but when you find yourself bursting into tears, not able to take any more pressure..not only from her...she is not the only thing that is not going your way in your life..
some of my old readings come into my mind..good uncle Marx, in a comment of his in the book with Hengels about the "sacred Family"..that, as all thinks and relations in our free-market society , family also is a financial agreement and that as long as the financials go well, everything goes well, otherwise..
Also in Milan's Kountera "the farewell wals", where also the hero is being tortured in his life by his mother..where in a moment he realises that free one is he who never got to know parents..not had them and lost them..not having them from the beggining..that's the only way to say that this person grew up by his own free will and intension..